Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Did I marry the right person?

Just sharing this great post from friendster, hope you'll have time to read this its worth it I swear.

"How do I know if I married the
right person?" I
noticed that there was a Large man
sitting next to her so I said, "It
Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she
answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because
the chances are good that it's
weighing on your mind. Here's the

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In
the beginning,
you fell in love with your

You anticipated their call, wanted
their touch, and
liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse
wasn't hard. In
fact, it was a completely natural
and spontaneous experience. You didn't
to DO anything. That's why it's
called "falling" in love... because
happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was
swept off my
feet." Think about theimagery of
that expression. It implies that you
just standing there; doing
nothing, and then something came along
and happened

Falling in love is easy. It's a
passive and
spontaneous experience. But after a
few years of marriage, the euphoria of
fades. It's the natural cycle of
EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely,
phone calls become a bother (if they
come at all), touch is not always
(when it happens), and your
spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of
being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with
relationship, but if you think about
your marriage, you will notice a
difference between the initial stage
when you were in love and a much
duller or even angry subsequent
stage. At this point, you and/or your
spouse might start asking, "Did I
marry the right person?" And as you
and your
spouse reflect on theeuphoria of the
love you once had, you may begin to
desire that experience with someone

This is when marriages break down.
People blame their spouse for their
unhappiness and look outside their
marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in
all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work,
church, a hobby, a friendship,
excessive TV, or abusive
substances. But the answer to this
dilemma does NOT lie outside your
It lies within it. I'm not saying
that you couldn't fall in love with
else. You could. And TEMPORARILY
you'd feel better. But you'd be in the
same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
Key To Succeeding In Marriage Is Not
Finding The Right Person; It's
Learning To Love The Person You

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or
experience. It'll NEVER just happen
to you. You can't "find" LASTING love.
have to "make" it day in and day
out. That's why we have the
expression "the
labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and
energy. And most
importantly, it takes WISDOM.. You
have to know WHAT TO DO to make your
marriage work. Make no mistake
about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are
specific things you can do (with or
without your spouse) to succeed with
your marriage. Just as there are
physical laws of the universe (such as
gravity), there are also laws for
relationships. Just as the right diet
exercise program makes you
physically stronger, certain habits in
relationship WILL make your
marriage stronger. It's a direct cause
and effect.
If you know and apply the laws, the
results are predictable. .. you
can "make"
love works. Love in marriage is
indeed a "decision".. . not just a